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Coyote Ugly (condensed)

by Mia Descandion

SEXY GIRL BAR

We used to have these old preview tapes at work that we’d play in the store. They’d feature previews (obviously) for upcoming games, movies, and such. They’d also feature the most annoying, grating music videos ever, including this TERIRBLE, TERRIBLE one for Coyote Ugly in which some broad whined and twinged for what seemed like twenty minutes in an attempt to make music. It was the worst thing ever, and to this day we speak of said music video in hushed tones and whispers.

Mar   April 2004   May
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Violet: I am new in the city. I need a job.
Lil: You can work at my sexy girl bar.
Patron: I request water.
Lil: You are stupid. I squirt you with alcohol.
Violet: Hurrah! The bar is successful.
Lil: Yes.