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| Dad: | Hello, son. Did you know that there is a boogeyman in the closet? |
|---|---|
| Tim: | I sure hope the boogeyman doesn’t kill you and scar me so that I stare at doorknobs for hours. |
| Man: | Hey, your mom died. |
| Tim: | I will go to her house and stare at doorknobs as some sort of pretentious representation of my childhood fears. |
| Boogeyman: | Hello, I am the BOOGEYMAN! |
| Tim: | I am sorry, representation of my childhood fears. I could not hear you over this V.I.D. (Very Important Doorknob) |
Boogeyman is the epitome of what is bullshit about modern horror. Instead of being scary it is ATMOSPHERIC (which means a twenty minute camera shot of a man staring at a doorknob in a greenlit room) and MOODY (which means camera pans of a man staring at a doorknob for twenty minutes in a greenlit room).
Also of note is that my doglike drawing of the boogeyman actually looks SCARIER than the creature in the film.